Review: Vanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver .. why must authors be so inconsistent?

Vanishing GirlsVanishing Girls by Lauren Oliver

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

— warning this post contains spoilers —

This definitely goes into the category of “I suffered so you don’t have to” books. I usually like Lauren Oliver’s books but not always. I think Rooms was boring and pointless, although I really liked Before I Fall and the Delirium trilogy. I thought Panic was “eh” with moments of greatness. Unfortunately Vanishing Girls is closer to Rooms in the pointless and ridiculously loquacious writing than it was to the books I actually like of Oliver’s. I’m frustrated by the change in her writing to awkward and unpleasing analogies and the over use of cliché plot points that other books have done better and more successfully. I can’t say I loathed Vanishing Girls but I did hate on it pretty hard. I wanted to quit so many times but I also wanted to see if I was right about everything (sadly I was. STOP BEING PREDICTABLE!). Even die-hard fans should avoid this one. Continue reading

Review: Shadowing Mace by Cheyenne Meadows … So bad I can’t even be bothered

Shadowing MaceShadowing Mace by Cheyenne Meadows

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Just ugh. I wanted some hot BDSM shifter sex with a solid mystery and I’ve no clue what I got instead. Some rote, mindless story that had no characterization, nothing interesting in the mystery portion and some really wooden writing. I was bored with the characters almost immediately. They were antagonistic for reasons unknown and then halfway through they decide to have a lot of sex and suddenly be in love. I never got a feel for either character and they came across as stale, uninteresting, and manic. First they were grumbling at each other to extremes then in love to extremes. Neither pole hit the right note and both felt exaggerated beyond enjoyment.

Then the mystery is boring and stupid, which is not helped by the writing. The dialogue is stilted and awkward with a lot of repetitive phrases. The men are supposedly investigating deadly accidents happening within the pack but they alternate between being suspicious and utterly ignorant. An out of the blue rockslide makes them curious but they don’t really think it was anything other than an accident. Then why are they suspicious? There’s no real justification for their actions and thoughts and the story is completely without nuance or subtly. It’s very blunt, in your face and the story walks the reader through every emotion and action. I simply didn’t care about the characters, their quasi D/s sex which mostly was short, emotionless statements about positioning before the deep supposedly emotional love making.

Let’s just leave it at this didn’t work for me. I started skimming about a third of the way in to see if it got better so I don’t feel right writing a full review. I’m sure I missed several parts, I read the final few chapters and feel safe in saying it doesn’t get better sadly.

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Review: Outlander .. and it’s not pretty

Outlander (Outlander, #1)Outlander by Diana Gabaldon

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Every so often a book comes along that I loathe to the core of my being. I can give low ratings to books I dislike but sometimes there are books that deserve negative scores, if such a thing was possible. To say I hate this book is a bit of an understatement. To even say that negative passion rivals a thousand suns doesn’t quite match my feelings. I will attempt not to rant forever but I apologize in advance if I can’t seem to shut up. It’s that kind of review. I’ll summarize to say that the book has a myriad of technical problems, plot holes and inconsistencies, however, the worst offense is the loathsome main protagonist, Clare Beecham. She offends me on just about every level. I am utterly horrified there is actually a TV show staring this pitiable character.
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Review: The Submissive

The Submissive
The Submissive by Tara Sue Me

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I wish there was a zero star rating sometimes. I read this book on recommendation from a friend and I knew nothing about it. Unfortunately I truly hated this book to the depths of my soul. I spent much of my reading time gasping out loud at the ridiculousness of the story and characters and reminding myself that throwing my reader would only hurt me and not the book that so richly deserved destroying. My problems with this book are many and very layered. I honestly have nothing positive to say about this book at all. Well that’s not true; I found the best friend the least reprehensible of the entire cast. Faint praise to be sure and not exactly positive so take that, as you will. Continue reading

Review: Cooking Up a Storm

Cooking Up a Storm Cooking Up a Storm by Ashley Ladd
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

This was just … bad. There are bad books where you wonder how anyone could have liked them (Outlander!) but usually those are about taste. Then there are books where you wonder how anyone could have published them. It’s not that this particular book was eye-searingly bad and will haunt me for the rest of my life. I’ve read those and while bad, this doesn’t quite reach that category. It’s more so that I’m confused how no one pointed out the numerous problems with the writing and plot. There are certain details- such as continuity, flow, changed character names- that I’d think someone, somewhere would have pointed out as problematic. Apparently not though and so the finished product, such as it was, leaves a lot to be desired unfortunately. Continue reading

Review: A Nightmare Come True

A Nightmare Come True
A Nightmare Come True by Sage Marlowe
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

A Nightmare Come True is basically porn in written form. It has a weak storyline to set the two men up but the focus is on the sex and an equally weak ending to give the characters some kind of an ending. Or not an ending since I guess this is a series. It’s not the worst thing ever but it’s inane and boring and lacks any kind of plot structure. It’s a vehicle for lots of sex, which may be what some readers want. I’ve reader hotter and better erotica/porn in the genre so I wouldn’t recommend this. However I also didn’t want to throw it across the metaphorical room so that’s why I gave it another half star, rounded up. Continue reading

Review: Vaulting

Vaulting
Vaulting by Megan Slayer
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

While this wasn’t a terrible book I kind of want to scrub my brain after reading it. It’s just so banal and ridiculous. The writing is tedious and the characters are silly. The short story is mostly sex scenes with instant “I love you” declarations between them. Oh and a totally unnecessary possessive ex-lover threat thrown in for absolutely no reason. I even went back and re-read parts just to ensure I was right about the changing details. This is probably a prime reason I don’t read Total-E-Bound as I don’t think their books are quality stories or all that well written. No doubt that description doesn’t cover every m/m book of theirs but it’s a rare book I pick up from TEB that is well written, fully developed, and worthwhile reading. Sadly this author won’t make my list of new authors to check out. Continue reading

First up…Men with clits!

17788192Star Crossed by Astrid Cooper
My Rating: 1 of 5 stars

So my first foray was not an auspicious start and it wasn’t because the aliens were men with clits. I didn’t mind that, but what I disliked was kind of everything else. I chose this one because I liked the name, I’ve read several good books with the same title, which invoked a positive association,  and I thought the blurb sounded light but fun, sexy times in space with some built in cross species tension. If only I’d looked at the cover because really, has any book ever been good with a cover like that? I hate to be superficial but I can’t think of a single book I loved with such a bad cover. It’s like no one cares about the aesthetics because the content must be crap too. Even though I had a bad feeling about this once I saw the cover, I tried to go in with a more open mind. Perhaps it’s not great literature but maybe it’ll be smutty fun. I already had the book after all. Continue reading

Review: Frog

Frog
Frog by Mary Calmes
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I actually finished the whole book, which I consider a bit of a feat, considering I didn’t like this one. I didn’t hate it to the depths of it’s soul but frankly I find very little appealing about Frog. It’s clichéd, ridiculous, full of perfect Gary Stu characters and the author’s voice is muddled with too many cutesy and perfect moments. There is no tension, no romance, and no real genuine emotion by anyone without even getting into the various situations that simply wouldn’t happen in real life and the story doesn’t even attempt to make the reader buy into them. Continue reading

Review: Lorcan’s Desire

Lorcan's Desire
Lorcan’s Desire by S.J.D. Peterson
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

As I’m a somewhat firm believer in the happy ending of romances, I shocked I didn’t mind the ending. Instead the characters and their internal monologue left me bored silly and I didn’t care for any of them. I think the story is trying something interesting, giving a definite not happy ending but trying to show that there is more than one potential mate for people. Perhaps not the perfect mate but a good person that can develop into a good relationship. I like that concept a lot, even if some die hard romantics aren’t going to, but the writing is bulky and filled with unnecessary details. Then whatever potential the story has is killed by the weak characterization and ultimately while I give credit to the author for trying something different, the execution isn’t good enough to pull it off. Continue reading