Patchwork Heaven by Jaime Samms
My rating: DNF

Um I usually love Jamie Samms but I feel like an alien took over her writing and this is the result. I’m struggling with this book pretty mightily and considering I’ve had a rash of bad luck with books I really don’t want to continue with this because I’m pretty confident it’s not getting any better. Then I’ll have invested a lot into a book I got no enjoyment or entertainment from. YMMV.

To start with I can’t believe that the plot got this far – I’m at page 100 – without someone pointing out the numerous inherent flaws. I worried that I was alone in my frustration and anger at the story until I skimmed reviews to see that thankfully others feel the same way. To start with the plot should be fine, if only it was executed well. Twin country music stars are being stalked and hire a bodyguard firm to keep them safe. Predictably twin one, the main stalkee, falls for said bodyguard and after much angst and sex, happiness ensues. Unfortunately I just can’t ride out the angst and I don’t like the couple anyway.

Initially I thought this book was a sequel since there are numerous references to something that happened to Bruce, but no one will say exactly what happened. Instead it was as if the reader should already know, from a previous book I thought, and the story wasn’t rehashing the information. Instead this is supposedly the first book so I don’t understand the need to refer to secret information constantly without giving the reader the details. It just annoyed me. Most likely a sequel will go into whatever happened to Bruce but I don’t think –this- book needed so many constant references when that information isn’t going to be offered, at least it wasn’t yet.

Furthermore, Gregor, the owner/lead bodyguard, is incompetent. There are so many holes and flaws in his “protection” that it’s not surprising the twin being stalked, Coby, is basically on his own the entire book. For starters someone breaks into his trailer because apparently Gregor only has 3 bodyguards, including himself, protecting this incredibly high profile music star. No one can be spared to watch the trailer apparently. So the stalker also gets the drop on the bodyguard and knocks him out with a two-by-four when of course no one but the bodyguard and Coby are around. Then the stalker gets away without anyone seeing him. No one calls the cops because why would they? No one apparently covers the post when Gregor goes to the bathroom either. It’s just left open for Coby to get assaulted. Then let’s discuss how a stalker gets close enough to gun down both twins, Coby and Bruce, but everyone tells Gregor it’s not his fault. The truth is … it IS his fault!

I started ranting about these circumstances almost immediately and then kind of went off the rails when Gregor has Coby walk down three flights of stairs in a hospital when he’s released from the hospital. Apparently some paperwork means the hospital will ignore their liability claims for someone famous. I get really annoyed at books when authors have to justify and explain something they know readers will dislike. Any reader will balk at Coby walking down stairs to an alley before being discharged but hey, the book explained it so it’s ok.

All of this was bad enough but honestly the BDSM stuff out of nowhere is where I really lost the book. Coby does not come across as submissive to me, at all. He feels overwhelmed because he’s being stalked and perhaps a little mentally slow, given that he sees music as colors nearly constantly, but not submissive. So this random scene where Gregor suddenly dominates Coby, fresh out of the hospital and still hurting, seems out of nowhere and simply, wrong. It feels wrong. Coby even says he thinks Gregor needs to dominate so he’ll give in.

Honestly it just all added up to a book I wasn’t enjoying and didn’t want to slog through to the end. I’m only a third of the way in and the thought of reading more depresses me sadly. I’m passing.

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